A month ago the unspeakable happened, and now it feels as if
we are in an Orwellian world… I question my own grasp of the reality and wonder
how long I may have deluded myself about it.
Waking up in the morning is the hardest. In these early
hours, the thought of facing the world is next to unbearable; the absurdity of
it all makes my head implode… So I look at pretty pictures of Instagram, consciously
and deliberately avoiding the news… Then I push the clouds of dread hanging
over the bed and force myself get up. Because I must go on – for my own sake
and for the sake of the values I believe in. I must go on, out of sheer spite,
refusing to give up logic, rationality, compassion and kindness. This spite is
about all the agency I feel I have, and I hold on to it with all I’ve got…
