"Falling up like silent paper,
holding on to what may be...

It's a funny time of year,
there'll be no blossoms on the trees..."

It's become changeable like weather. My mood. Gradually getting worse, as days get darker and colder. It's interesting to realize that there is a clinical term for this- fading daylight anxiety syndrome- or even seasonal affective disorder. To realize that moodiness is caused by simply not getting enough daylight and that all the sadness is simply because of some part of the brain not producing enough of one kind of hormone or another. Or fails to connect one kind of neurotransmitter to another. Nothing but biochemistry. Sounds complicated, but not more than trying to get to the core of what really saddens me at this time of the year... Cause i will get lost before i reach the core anyway. That's what antidepressants are for. Although these days i merely sedate myself with advil, David Gray and sleep, and the other day i caught myself saying "i almost wish it was over..."