A while ago, during that crazy year that I spent in Yerevan, a friend and I were having a conversation about feminism and women’s liberation in Armenia, during which I allowed myself a statement that might be perceived as arrogant, ignorant, unpopular and perhaps politically incorrect.
“Armenian women don’t want to be liberated. Those who do, have already done so, quietly and without the fuss.”
“So you’re not going to be a part of women’s march of burning bras and all?”
“No, of course not.”
On March 8 of this year (the International Women’s Day) The Women’s Resource Center of Armenia and a bunch of other NGO’s organized an event, or rather, a burial rite of the infamous “red apple” – a traditional and symbolic representation of women’s loss of virginity to their husbands. The Armenian tradition prohibits pre-marital sex (many societies do). The red apple symbolizes the blood that comes after a woman’s hymen breaks when she has her first intercourse with her husband. The tradition is that the morning after the event, the mother of the groom collects the sheets that are stained with that blood and hangs it outside her house for everyone to see that their bride is indeed a decent and honest woman. The groom’s family then sends a red apple to the bride’s family as a way of saying thank you for giving them a decent and honest woman. The participants of the burial rite claimed that this practice is demeaning to women and is a violation of their human rights.
Whether this tradition is barbaric, demeaning or whatever, you be the judge. The truth is, this particular event did not and never will put an end to this practice. I will go as far as say that perhaps there is even a need for this tradition to exist – a point that should be elaborated a bit. The tradition does exist. Many families choose to adhere to it – out of respect or even some sort of necessity. And yet, there are many women (and men) who have made a choice not to follow it out of their own personal beliefs and out of a same sort of necessity. But the latter do and have done so without the aforementioned fuss – it’s a personal choice, after all, that shouldn’t be turned into a spectacle. Giving it a feminist twist, projecting one’s own opinion on the tradition itself (even if it’s coming from a civil society organization) is no less arrogant than the statement that I had made a few years ago (I still choose to stand by it, for a matter of fact). Calling it demeaning, shameful, etc. to an extent where a bunch of artsy folk have to organize a burial rite is nothing but giving all women of this country a collective mentality of a victim. Armenian women are much better than that.
* Picture courtesy of Queering Yerevan
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