An Open Letter to Yerevan Women

Sometimes I wish that the Fug Girls would move to Yerevan, because the city seems to be in desperate need of a style critic or two. Even if Yerevan isn’t quite the current target demographic of our dear girls, I can assure you that there’s plenty to rant about (just sit in one of the countless downtown sidewalk cafés for half an hour and blogging material is guaranteed for more than a month). But since the occurrence of such an event is highly unlikely and given the grave state of the affairs when it comes to fashion/style related issues of this town, I feel compelled to say what I'm going to say in a vain hope that perhaps someone will finally take notice and spread the word around.

Dear Yerevan women,

I think it’s high time we had a little chat. I wish things hadn’t gotten to this point, but alas. During my last visit to our lovely city I was happy to notice how beautiful, well-dressed and put together so many of you are. I think respect needs to be paid where it's due. And yet, the state of the affairs is such that at least two out of the three of you at any given point give me more than one reason for a “WFT?”, “Did the mirrors in your house stop working today?” and “I can’t believe you spent all this effort to make yourself look like a … hooker.”

It’s kind of sad, you know – sad, because I know that that’s not an accurate reflection of who you really are and because it makes this city feel like a place where fashion has gone awry. Of course I am no fashion critic and shouldn’t be in a position of giving style advice, but there are things that simply can’t go unnoticed. You know what I’m talking about, don’t you? It’s the tight, ill-fitting, two-sizes-too-small pants; the see-through, lacey tops (I believe they are intended to be warn as lingerie); the fishnet leggings (really!); the stripper platform shoes; the pancake makeup and the headache inducing bizarre color combinations. Seriously, ladies, do you think that’s an appropriate outfit to leave the house in, let alone wear it to the office? Someone needs to tell you that skank is not the latest fashion trend; that the-less-the-better choice of makeup does a much better job enhancing you natural beauty (and you are, indeed, naturally very very pretty) and while I applaud your bravery to embrace bright colors, try not to look like an eye test in the meantime. You think you can handle this? Cause there is yet another long conversation to be held about venue and age appropriateness of your outfits, you know. Of course I do not expect all of you to turn into a Jackie O overnight (that may not be everyone’s cup of tea, anyway), but there’s got a be a thing or two that one can change in what seems to be the grand circus of Yerevan fashion scene. I have to admit though that that’s exactly what makes people watching in this town such a fun exercise. Bonus point if the Fat Bastard is around.

With best regards,

Your estranged compatriot