I've lost the count of days in an endless wait.
stuck in between two worlds, neither here, nor there, but somewhere else, in the back of my head... trapped inside the four walls i so tried to once escape...

and yet, the more i think about it, the more i realize that there really is a reason to all this. perhaps i'd never have another chance to face all that i once wanted to forget, trying to deny the roots of my origin- this very room, the old view from the window, the endless hours spent dreaming of the moment when i'd be able to leave it all behind, and go without looking back.

it's only now that i know that there are always things that you can't leave behind

the gutter you've come from will always be with you- it gives you more room to spread out your roots. and yes, you are rooted to where you have come from and i'm finally coming to accept it.