a part of me wants time to pass more quickly. I want to see what's going to happen, impatient to find out how the events will unfold themselves and where i will end up after i take another breath to stop and look back.

for right now, i'm clueless...

and yet, sometimes i have to stop and ask myself whether it is really necessary to twist everything around and put myself in the most absurd and least expected situations in order to be able to achieve that sense of normality that i've been looking for. I wonder whether there is a safer way of staying in touch with my own sanity and not break my back without having to fold over backwards, in a vain attempt to brings lose ends together...