What does a girl do when she has extra money burning a hole in her pocket?

She buys shoes! But of course. What else is there to do but buy a pair of neat little white peep toes that look so good with almost everything in summer? When complemented on this particular pair, I mentioned that I hadn’t had a pair of white shoes since I was thirteen. To which I got:

“I was about to say ‘and you remember this?’ But then I forgot that I was talking to you. About shoes. And your ability to remember crazy stuff like this. I wouldn’t be surprised if you remember each and every pair of shoe that you owned…”

“I actually do. Especially when every shoe out there is designed to kill my feet. It’s kind of hard to forget them then, you know.”

“Maybe that’s God’s way of saying that you shouldn’t have so many pairs of shoes.”

“Like I’m going to listen to God. He has no sense of fashion!”

Not that I have much of a sense of fashion either. I do, however, have a great love and a habit for footwear. Ok, maybe not as expensive as Carrie Bradshaw’s with a threat of becoming that old lady who lived in her shoes… But I happen to have a particular taste for shoes that I have inherited from my grandmother, who even at the age of 70 always wore heels. I am very picky when it comes to shoes. I have a liking of certain brands and a complete theory of how shoes are a philosophy of their own and that it’s all about clean, graceful lines, quality leather and minimum but tasteful details. Nevermind comfort. I did, after all, grow up in Yerevan, and like every Armenian woman, know how to spend an entire day on heels, while running around from one end of the city to another. I have several pairs of shoes that I haven’t had a chance to wear yet. I have also been known to match the outfit to my shoes, and not the other way around. I don’t particularly follow fashion trends. I won’t be able to give fashion advice to anyone but myself. All shopping, except for groceries and shoes seems an unbearable torture to me. I do however love shoe shopping. Especially now that Zappos gives me access to almost every shoe manufacturer right in my own home. If you buy me this or this or this or this or this, I would love you for the rest of your life (or my life, whichever one outlives the other). Whereas this and this and especially this would be tagged as ugly, or ridiculous, or both.

Those who know me well know about my love for shoes. They do tend, from time to time, comment in a very endearing way about the number of shoes in my closet And if it makes me, the otherwise low-maintenance and more or less indifferent to fashion person a complete girl, then so be it. And don’t try and argue my rights to shoes. Those who’d like to back me up, feel free to comment. Otherwise, don’t even try to figure out what it is about women and the thing they have for shoes. It’s our thing. We love it. Let it go. And if you’re looking for a challenge, email me and try to explain what justifies the existence of this and what woman, in sane mind and sound judgment would ever buy them under any circumstances, including having a gun pointed at her head.