This time next week I will be in
It still hasn’t quite clicked in that I will be leaving in less than a week. I’ve known this all along, from the first day I came to
I try to be realistic. Try to keep myself still, not to run ahead of myself, which is something that I have been doing a lot lately. I try to objectively identify all the options that I have. Likewise, be aware of all the limitations that are on my way. And for the first time, these limitations don’t make me feel helpless… Better prepared, maybe more pragmatic but not helpless… And yet, for the first time I ever remember myself, I wish I knew what was coming towards me, what the future holds for me. I once used to be the greatest believer of randomness, perceiving the human condition as our collective helplessness against circumstances that determine it all… Thus I never let myself make any far reaching plans, even in my wildest dreams and felt frozen and paralyzed within the bounds of my limitations… Lately I’ve been trying to look at things differently. Trying to believe that there’s always a remote possibility for even the impossible to come to life. Lately I’ve trying to look at things through the power of believing. Make room for even the farthest reaching dreams. And likewise I actually believe that it is quite possible that I find myself one day looking at Himalayas, strolling the streets of
What makes it possible to believe in all of the above is the fact that I am the happiest that I can possibly ever be... It’s a feeling that comes from within. From the certainty of knowing of what’s important and what’s with me to stay. Those are things that cannot be taken away from me, won’t be left behind…Everything else, everything I encounter on my way, or happen to accomplish, will count as bonus points to this happiness. At this point, I am moving from point A to point B not because I have to, but because I want to… And that’s all that counts…
And now, only a week away from moving, only a breath away from yet another exciting adventure that lies ahead, I feel incredibly calm and confident. I am leaving
5 comments:
I would love to know the English translation of your post's title . . . but then again, maybe that would spoil the point of not writing it in English in the first place, huh?
The title of this post quotes the first line from the lyrics of an old Russian romance (love song) that i first heard in an older Soviet movie A Cruel Romance . Although the movie itself has nothing to do with the post, it was one of my very favorites when i was growing up. The translation of the title would be something like "And in the end I'll say..." - although i just realize that it should be "sing" instead of "say" as it goes in the lyrics.
On your recommendation, I tried to put this film on my Netflix queue. It's currently unavailable, evidently not widely released in the States. Damn!
I'll continue to be on the look-out for it, though.
It's a very good film, I would say. Since I have not seen it in English, i cannot vouch for the translation. However, I think you would like it, if you're into late 19th century pre-Bolshevik Russia. I will see if I can find it around here. Will let you know.
"I think you would like it, if you're into late 19th century pre-Bolshevik Russia."
Yeah, my blogger profile reveals a pre-existent inclination, doesn't it?
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