It's raining- the circus is closing

Today I woke up feeling cold, and for the first time this year I had to close the window and get another blanket. And I knew that it’s only now that the summer’s officially over, and not a few weeks back, when I closed the door to that other apartment, thinking that it was the end…

The summer’s over now, although I have already put my summer clothes away, the summer’s over, even if I have already said all my goodbyes, and just like I neatly folded and packed away my clothes, I will have to pack the memories away, wrap them up, seal them with wax and put them away, on the top shelf in the back of my mind, where they will be safe and free of dust— yet another summer of kaleidoscopic events, of the heat and the sun, watered streets of Yerevan smelling of freshly cut grass, blue and cloudless skies, and me, happy, delirious, a butterfly on the sidewalk with rainbow colored wings, crazed and dazed with the sun and with my own freedom- and now it’s gone, the summer, - I have outlived it, I have outgrown and survived it- my summer of becoming, the summer of acceptance…

The circus is closing…
I stand there, watching them all leave and I wonder about things that they will let me keep, things I’ll remember, and what I will forget, and what it is that I will be missing most, when I look back at what seems now only a colorful swirl that seems to have lasted only an instant…
The circus is leaving- and yet I remain.
I’m slowly becoming.
And I proceed…