I started school.
I need to blog.
I need to see a shrink.
There have been other reasons for putting off writing for so long, besides the fact that since I got back I have been incredibly busy with life, school and a million of little tasks that are not small enough to be completely ignored, but are small enough to be a source of endless frustration because they take too much of my time. My inability to write is also due to the fact I cannot figure out where to start. I simply cannot pick up right where I left off since there has been too much change in a matter of less than a month and the older I grow, the slower I become in responding to change. Yet, the older I grow, the less time I have for such things, and time at this point seems to be a true luxury that I can hardly afford. Oh joys of adulthood. If only I knew that getting older wasn’t simply the thrill of being able to wear makeup and smoke cigarettes…
I still haven’t fully digested the past few weeks that have been happening way too fast. I am still in the process of adaptation. It surprises me that this time it is taking so long. I wasn’t gone for too long, but I guess it has been long enough to make readjusting quite a process on its own. I am still getting used to my new surroundings – new living arrangements, schedule and such. And I still haven’t recovered from the past summer, which made me realize that there are a few reoccurring issues that I do not know how to reconcile with. While in the past I successfully dealt with a load of emotional crap without any outside assistance, I seem to be incapable of dealing with issues that are fundamentally existential in their nature. Hence the necessity to see someone about them. I do not know whether this as a sign of maturity or that of emotional laziness since as cynical as this may sound, I am at a point where I rather pay someone than do it on my own, especially when I no longer seem to have the patience, the energy and or the time to do so alone. Someone told me that it makes me sound extremely American…
On a brighter note – I am really having the time of my life with life, school and ahem, the new roommate situation and if I am not pancaked by the giant steamroller that is graduate level mathematical economics, updates will be coming shortly…
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