Covilha

I'm in Covilha, Portugal, still in a pleasant shock that despite my complete lack of direction and any sense of orientation, I managed to bring myself, all in one piece and without any adventures to this middle of nowhere place. I am finally on my own, for the first time in the longest time, in a very unfamiliar place, far removed from everything that I know. And yet, I have never been at more ease with myself and this new place. This feeling of calm, quiet confidence, the awareness of  how easily I move in space, occupy this new space, fit in without fitting in. Like the cliche - wherever you go, there you are...

***
I decided to ditch the conference and spend my time soaking in this solitude. I never have a chance to be alone anymore, despite the fact that there are very few things that I like more than being on my own. Likewise, there are only a few things that compare to being alone in a quiet, quaint and unfamiliar place.

***
I think I'm going through something, although I am not quite sure what. I have been feeling this mixture of ennui and longing, my usual precursors of existential crises of sorts. Now I have to figure out where it's coming from and what exactly has brought this on...

***
This place, of all the places in the world, is a bloody good place to feel existential about things.

***
Curiously though, unlike my previous crises of this sort, this one hasn't completely consumed me (at least not yet). It is as if there is a part of me that watches it unfold as an objective specter, with all of the amusement and "Are you fucking kidding me? Not this again!" look on her face.

***
I'm not sure what it is about this place that brings about this strongest, almost overwhelming feeling of longing, even though what exactly it is that I am longing for is not at all clear to me.